To Create a Better Lifestyle

Google for the photo

Change is the only thing that is constant in this world. Small changes in our lives can brought about bigger, better and happier life. Change can also help eliminate the boredom of living the same life that we have for many years. Change can create a better lifestyle than what we have right now.

• Be forgiving of yourself, remember that we are human beings and we are prone to make mistakes. If you made a mistake, learn to accept it and try to do the right thing next time. Do not punish yourself because of the mistake that you have committed.
• We tend to do things on autopilot. We follow almost the same routine everyday of our lives. Why not try to integrate something new, in order to attract the things that we want to achieve in life? Habits are powerful, thus it defines our character and personality. Get out of your comfort zone and start doing new things that will improve you as a person.
• Find joy even in the simplest thing that you do or have. Even bad experiences can turn into good ones depending on how we view it. Problems should be viewed as opportunities; the more problems you have the better opportunities you have too. These opportunities can change your life in the most unexpected way.
• Learn to love unconditionally; selfless love is the most important thing we can give to others. It is easier said than done, but we can always try to do it until we are able to achieve it.

We are the captain of our own ship and the master of our own fate. Every decision we make will affect our lives in one way or the other. If we are tired of the life that we have right now, we have the power to change it. We have the power to create a better lifestyle if we start acting on it.

Building Better Family Relationships

Family is the basic unit of the society, and it is very important that parents and children have harmonious relationship in order to become better citizens of a nation. In these times when men and women to work for living, young children are often left at home with a nanny or a nursery, while older spend all day at school. Most times, parents have enough time to spare to put their children only at night. Sometimes not even have time to talk about their individual lives let alone spend a day of fun together.

Small talk, small gestures of comfort, little things we do every day if they are for an hour or enough for a few minutes, especially when done with sincerity and commitment to strengthening and developing links with their children. There are so many good things to give a child a hug. According to research, touch therapy is very effective in building relationships with families, especially in building ties between parents and children. This is a good way to express your love and concern for children. In addition to hugs, kisses and pats on the small shoulders are also important in building relationships.

Despite the busy schedule, make an effort to be present when time is short. The weekend with the family once a month can do wonders in strengthening family ties closer.

Last Look at 2010

The year 2010 marked so many big leaps in my life. Early part of 2010, my hubby and I decided to apply for a housing loan so we can start building our dreams in our own home. Fortunately, when I opened the idea to my parents they were supportive about it. They have helped me out pay the initial down payment needed for the house.

At the start of the school year, my youngest son entered pre-school and my two other kids have to move to a new school. This time around I didn't have to worry about their tuition fee and books; the school was free inside our community. Although it is considered as public school, the facilities and amenities are at par with private schools. So it was less stressful for hubby and me too.

The year 2010 was also the year when I started to work online. We have established our own business, an internet shop; but we have to give it up because we need to transfer to our new home. Good thing I was able to meet new friends in the internet who have helped me get job online.

A turning point in my life came when my boss told me that I was hired as a full-time writer. I would be receiving good compensation without leaving the comfort of our home.  I would be able to manage our household and work at the same time. Now, I want to believe that I am slowly learning the ropes of SEO and hopefully, this year would be fruitful too.

I have started 2 blogs too last 2010; Brewed.Fried.Toasted. and MommyLESsons plus I am also helping out hubby maintain his blog POV of an Engineer . So far, I have gained followers in this blog (MommyLESsons).

The best thing that I am very thankful for is my family. I have never been so happy and contented in my entire life. I would forever be thankful to my hubby (DadEngr Joey) for being the best hubby and dad. We had gone through a series of trials and challenges; but we have managed to go through it.

2011 is another year to look forward too. I know that God has so many wonderful plans for me and my family. I have surrendered everything to Him and let Him steer my life to the directions He wanted to. I would have less fears and worries this 2011 because I am in good hands with my Saviour.

Gift of Love Song

This video was made by my hubby during our 1st wedding anniversary. I was browsing old files in the computer and I saw this one. Watching it made me smile and realize that I am happy and contented with my life right now. I have nothing more to ask. Others would assume that we are pretending to be happy couple; but we know ourselves more than anyone else.

Mommy Knows No Fear

Admit it or not; but most of us Moms are always frantic and we fear almost everything most especially if we know that it can harm our children. But a 44 year-old mom is literally not afraid of anything. Snakes? Spiders? Haunted houses? Name it, and she is definitely a mommy who knows no fear.

According to studies conducted with the Fearless Mommy; she has a rare genetic brain-damaged  which damage a specific brain structure called Amygdala.

As Wikipedia described it, "it is almond-shaped groups of nuclei located deep within the medial temporal lobes of the brain in complex vertebrates, including humans.^[2] Shown in research to perform a primary role in the processing and memory of emotional reactions" It is the one responsible for making people feel fear in threatening situations.

Being fearless can be really dangerous most especially to mothers like us. We need to identify what is dangerous and what is not. However, it could be an advantage too because she is able to show example of bravery and courage to her kids. But in totality, I would rather be called coward or panicky in several occasions rather than be totally fearless.

How about you? What could be your greatest fear? Or are you pretty much like the Fearless Mommy?

Supreme Court Acquitted Hubert Webb et al

Google for the photo

I was still in high school when the controversial Vizconde massacre happened. At that time, we still live in BF Homes and the massacre happened in one of the villages inside BF Homes Paranaque. So it was really a big news in our area. Fingers were all pointing to Hubert Webb and his friends, until they were convicted for the crime 15 years ago. This time, the Supreme Court reversed the decision of the lower court and acquitted Hubert Webb et al.

Prosecution failed to prove their guilt beyond reasonable doubts; despite testimonies from Jessica Alfaro who is the primary witness. Supreme Court ruled out her testimonies and said that these testimonies cannot be relied upon.

As a parent, my reaction to this issue is mixed. I pity Lauro Vizconde for losing his family because of a non-sense crime; on the other hand, since Hubert Webb et al were acquitted they spent 15 years and 6 months of their lives inside the jail. Only to be decided later on that they were not guilty; they can no longer go back to those years lost.

I wish our justice system would work overtime in solving crimes; our time spent here on the face of the earth is in the hands of our Creator; we don't have the luxury of time. We must do whatever it is we can do today for we are not sure if there is still tomorrow.

How do you feel about the Supreme Court's acquittal of Hubert Webb et al? Did they make the right decision this time?

Human Rights Day 2010

 As a mom, we are most concern on what is happening in our surroundings. It is very unfortunate that on a daily basis we hear about so many human rights violations happening around us. Today is the Universal Declaration of Human Rights Day. The key principle for the Human Rights Day is “all human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights".

Age, gender, race and other things does not matter; all humans should be treated equally. I admire the strength of those mothers who have children who were victims of human rights violation. I would not wish to be in their shoes; but I pray that God will continue to give them strength. I have read one very good quotes about a mother's feeling towards her child. A mother carries her child inside the womb for nine months and once she gives birth, she carries her child in her heart forever.

In reality, discrimination does exist and I think that most mothers would agree that we are all praying that none of our children would experience discrimination. In a way, Human Rights Day remind us that we as mothers should do everything to defend the rights of our children and our family.

Have you experienced any discrimination, most especially at work?

Maggie Wilson's Controversial Pre Nup Video

It's the latest buzz in the Tinseltown, Maggie Wilson's Pre Nup video with Victor Consunji. The video brought about a lot of controversy especially in a conservative country like the Philippines. A lot of people gave their opinions about the video; some were in favor of it and most of the people were not.

We have our own ways of expressing our love. Maybe Maggie and her fiance wanted to beyond the traditional pre nuptial videos done by most couples. I actually admire them from expressing how they truly feel towards one another. Others even tweeted that it should have been a post nup or honeymoon video.

Google for the photo

As Maggie Wilson tweeted: "Love it or Hate it..it's MY video" . So I guess that simply tells us that other people's opinion should not matter; as long as we can stand by our own principles and beliefs. This former Bb Pilipinas Miss World representative was brave enough to go against what is conventional.

What about you, do you want a pre nup video as controversial as Maggie Wilson's pre nuptial video?

TCP Entry: Notting Hill

photo not mine thanks to Google.

For my TCP entry for this week is about this movie "Notting Hill". Can the famous film star in the world fall for just an ordinary guy?, Yes, because when it comes to love whatever your status in life when you fall in love, you would do anything and fight for it whatever it takes.

In this movie Hugh Grant is just a ordinary guy he's a owner of a bookstore while Julia Roberts is a film star. They met accidentally in the bookstore and eventually developed their friendship into a romantic relationship. This movie is romantic comedy and it showed how it is to fall in love.

It does not matter whatever people say about your relationship when you really love the person you will risk everything like Julia did; even it will change your life just to be with him or her. Love is like a cigarette it harms you with warning and before you know it, you cannot just simply remove it from your system.
Love is a sacrifice and it could be a big sacrifice for some people.

Enjoy other TCP entries just click on the badge.

Simple Anniversary Celebration

Hubby and I celebrated our wedding anniversary last 5th of November. Nothing fancy prepared, a simple anniversary dinner with the kids is what he had. It's fun to see the kids enjoy their favorite meal. Afterwards, we went to coffee shop (again with the kids) to relax. I had my favorite black forest frappe and the kids that their choco frappe too.

 

Black Forest Frappe

Choco Acad Frappe (no coffee added)

Hubby ordered a slice of "Sinful Cake" for him (of course he shared it with me!)

Indeed very Sinful!

 It was a simple yet meaningful celebration, and both of us are looking forward for more anniversaries to celebrate.

Changes In My Life

The most important change in my life took place almost 6 years ago; that was January 1st. It was a tough decision to make because that was the time I decided to end my marriage with my ex-husband. I have to choose between staying with him and give my two sons a "complete" family ; or dump him like a hot potato but my sons would have to deal with the society's stigma of broken home. I chose the latter, and I am definitely glad to do it.

I think my kids would live a more normal life if they do not see violence at home. I had to admit that there were instances wherein discussions with my ex would turn out violently. Too bad my kids were witnesses to that situation. I cannot blame my sons for hating their father. My kids are smart, I don't need to brainwash them (because I was accused of doing it). For the past 6 years no financial support was given to my children. I know they have the rights to get financial support from their father; but I would rather not do it because I can work to death just to provide for my children.

I believe that God saw my suffering, and He gave me a partner. We have been together for 5 years now, and blessed with a child (another boy). Our son is four years old, and as far as my entire family could see my current partner treat my kids from previous marriage the same way he treats our own son. He works hard for them and dream about giving them a bright future.

I am so glad that God gave me another chance to be happy. Sometimes we really need to experience deep pain in our lives in order to appreciate the simple joys that we have.

Jeon Said

My four-year old son seem to be to smart for his age. There are moments when he gives witty remarks, ask "silly" questions and utter words of "wisdom" from a pre-schooler's point of view. I hope you will enjoy some of his remarks, most of them in the Filipino but I will be translating it to English.

Scene 1: One dinner time
His kuya Gab stood up to get himself a drinking glass
JEON said (using his Mommy-like tone)" Aba! Aba! Aba! tapos ka ng kumain? Konti palang nakain mo ah, tatayo ka na agad"
(Hey!hey!Hey! you're done eating? You have barely eaten your meal and you are already standing)
All of us were laughing after hearing him talk to his elder brother that way.

Scene 2: Lunch time
Mommy would never eat with her favorite soda served on the table, then without asking permission Jeon's elder brothers took the bottle of soda and pour into their glasses. Jeon again made a remark to his brothers
JEON said: "Kuya, ano ka ba yung softdrinks pang Mommy lang yan di pwede sa family yan. Mommy lang iinom nyn sa umaga, lunch at gabi..db noh Mommy?"
(Kuya, the soda is only for Mom, family members are not supposed to drink soda. Only Mommy can drink soda in the morning, lunch and night, am I right Mommy?"

Scene 3: Homework Time
After coming home from school, it is part of our routine that Jeon and I will be doing his homework. But since his dad is at home, I asked my husband to be the one to assist him. They finished doing all the homework in a breeze; then I was teasing Jeon that all the homework were wrong. I continue doing that for couple of minutes and then he blurted " Mommy, na high-blood na ko syo ah. di ba Mommy yung high-blood yung naiinis? kaya na high-blood na ko syo" (Mommy my blood pressure is rising, Mommy isn't high blood means that you are getting annoyed; that's why I am getting high blood pressure from you)

Not Good at Time Management

It's been a month since I got this full time writing job and I am really very thankful for it. (Hmmm..who can resist a very nice offer?) I've been writing full time and also getting additional writing assignments from other bloggers; and did I mention that I am also a part-time Virtual Assistant? All of these jobs are courtesy of my boss, Fedhz..hihihi..Oh I forgot, I am also into writing ebook.
Did somebody mention that we only have 24 hours in one day? Geez! how can I squeeze in all these tasks in one day and at the same time be a Mom to my kids and a loving wife to my hubby? The answer is, I DON'T KNOW! With all these writing jobs plus the errands in running our entire household, my hands are definitely full everyday and even during the weekends. Sad to say but it means lesser time to enjoy watching movies with my family.
It is hard to manage time, and to be honest I am never good with time management. I am not sure with other writers, but for me, once the ideas are flowing inside my mind I need to write it or else; it would vanish into thin air. Things are made a lot easier because I have my kids (Jet, Gab and Jeon ) to help me in doing the household chores. My hubby who is not busy with work this time is also a big help. That is why whenever I get my payout, I have to make sure that we treat ourselves with a lot of yummy food.
I am working hard for the money to have something to spend for my kids. I would not want to burden my hubby with all the responsibilities in terms of our finances. As of now, I am enjoying my job and although I have little complaints because I can no longer have my siesta time, I am still very thankful for the additional income that we are receiving. I will do everything and anything for my kids, with or without my hubby to depend on (but thank God, he is there for me too!)

Sunday is Family Day

Woke up a little bit late, it's weekend we can stay up as late as we want to and there is no need to worry about not being to stand up when the alarm clock rings. (This is the major reason why I love the weekends!) Me, hubby and the kids went to Lola Naty's place; this is our routine every Sunday. We had our delicious lunch at their place; fried tilapia with raddish and tomatoes and also chicken asado (yummy! I forgot my diet again!). After lunch, we just lay around enjoying the lazy Sunday afternoon. The kids are inside the computer shop because it was hot and humid outside.

A little bit later, we had to attend a children's party; which means food, food and food again. (bye bye diet). During the party, Jeon was a bit shy to join the games. What my husband did was to convince him to join the game and promised that he will be there in front, cheering for him. Jeon join the game and he enjoyed it; the next game where kids and adults are needed to join the game. So hubby and Jeon were partners; and were part of the winning team. Then another game for adults was held, without batting an eyelash, hubby join the game again. Hubby enjoyed the party as much as the kids did. When its time to eat, my husband finished the entire meal served to him. Oh boy! he was really tired because of those games.

My boys are all tired, they did not even bother to eat dinner. Upon reaching home, they just relaxed a bit and hit the bed. When my boys (Jet, Gab, Jeon and my hubby Joey) are all asleep they all look so angelic. Tomorrow is another day to be thankful for, as of now, I am thanking the Almighty for giving me such wonderful children and a loving husband.

Home Alone

I can't actually remember the last time I was left home alone. The kids spent the weekends at their Lola Naty's place and hubby went out to attend his stated meeting with his Freemason brothers. So that left me alone in our home sweet home. I took the chance to finish household chores like clean our house. Although I know for a fact that the moment the kids step inside the house, everything will be topsy-turvy again. Messing up the house became a habit for them most especially to my youngest son.

I finished the laundry as well and did some writing assignments. I have updated my status in Facebook a lot of times too. Now here I am updating my blog, after this, what else am I going to do? OMG! I never thought that life can be so boring without hearing my kids whine over small things. I have gotten used to having them around, in fact I can even find time to take a nap despite their noise.

I have all the time in the palm of my hands right now, but I don't know what to do! I remember the story I have read long time ago; there were two moms complaining how rowdy their kids are and how messy their house is and then from behind them another mom shared her story. She said that she would not mind having to pick up her kids toys all the time; their house is filled with silence because a tragedy happened to their family that caused the lives of her children. This story left the two moms dumb-founded.

Truly you would never realize the value of a person until he or she is no longer at your beck-and-call. Mothers have the tendency to be too uptight without realizing that our kids are growing older and soon they will be entering their own world wherein you may not be  even allowed to enter.

It's nice to be on your own sometimes but I am sure most moms would agree with me, your kids voice shouting at the top of their lungs is actually a pleasing sound to a mother's ear.

It's Grandparents Day

We have been used to celebrating Mother's Day as well as Father's Day; we even have what we call the Children's Day, thank goodness people have come to realized the importance of grandparents' role in our children's lives thus came the Grandparents Day.

Thank God we have grandparents to assist parents in raising their kids. Actually, grandparents are more of spoilers rather than disciplinarians. According to them, it's the parents job to discipline the kids and their roles are to be the kids' savior. My kids are very fortunate to have loving grandparents.

Their Lola Naty is the type of granny who would cook for them and make sure that they eat their meals on time. Lola's delicious cooking have been always compared to Mommy's newbie style of cooking. So whenever the kids crave for delicious food; off we go to Lola's place. It means day-off for Mommy too!

Mamita on the other hand is a real spoiler. Since she rarely sees the kids because she stays in Italy; whatever material wishes the kids would have, she would surely grant. Whenever she gets the chance to visit her grandchildren here in the Philippines, the kids are really excited about it.

Kudos also to Ima, who also treat my children as her own grandchildren. Since my mom can't be physically present for her grandchildren, she acts as their grandma. She also spoils my children and even helped me raised them during the tough times of my life. She loves my kids so much and she is very protective of them too.

I am very thankful that God has given my children loving grandparents. My husband and I could not replace the roles that they have in our children's lives. They help us instill values and build good character in our children. To Mamita, Ima and Lola Naty, Happy Grandsparents Day!

How to Solve Marital Issues

After you have gone through the honeymoon stage of marriage; most problems would come in. Since you are two different individuals, you have different styles on dealing with marital issues that you have. When you decided to get married, you have committed to become as one. So when a marital issue arise, you should view it in the same perspective. Here are few tips on how to solve marital issues as a couple:

• There should be a positive reason on why you want to solve the problem. It must be specific, for example you have problems with your finances; give a positive reason on why you want this specific problem to be solved. Tell your partner that you want to save up money for emergency situations that is why you need to check on how you both handle your finances.
• Avoid pointing fingers, bickering with each others faults would never result into something positive. Gently direct issues on why a certain problem would arise but never blame the other person for the problem. Remember it takes two to tango.
• Present possible solutions that are agreeable to both of you. Never present a solution that could only be beneficial to one person. It would not solve the problem but can further create trouble as well.
• Deal with the current issue, steer clear from going back to other problems that you have. If one person would tend to veer away from what is being resolved, gently remind the other person that it is not the current issue that you are trying to resolve.
• Once you have agreed upon a possible solution, stick to it. Then take the marital problem as case closed, don't bring it up again if in case another marital issue will arise.
• Learn to listen and compromise. From what I have read before it says that "it is okay to bend a little rather than to break"

No marriage is perfect, everyday you discover new things about your partner. These discoveries may not always be pleasing but learn how to accept it and deal with it. Open the lines of communication between you and your partner. It is always best that you speak what is inside your heart and your mind but remember that your partner has his or her own feelings to. Be considerate. Remember the love that you felt for your partner before the conflict arise. Make sure that you did everything that you can to save the marriage before deciding to go further like divorce.

Off for Greener Pasture

It is a sad reality here in our country, that more and more families need to live apart because either parents would have to work overseas to earn greener pasture. If only our government could produce more jobs, then there is no need to work overseas.
If either parents would work abroad, the absence of one parent can have a real impact on the lives of the children. It can either for their betterment as individual or can destroy their future.
It can also have an effect on the relationship of the couple. They say that absence make the heart grows fonder but it can also cause to make the heart wander. Long distance relationship can result to infidelity by either party. If the foundation of the relationship is not strong, it can be totally destroyed by mere absence of their partner.
It is a big gamble to work overseas, you would never know what happen. But I believe that if your goal is clear; looking for greener pasture abroad could make lives more comfortable in the future.

A Get-well Wish

Get-well soon Uncle Co!

I heard the sad news from my cousin Sha that his dad had a mild stroke. It was a bit shocking because our Uncle Co had an active lifestyle. Although we know that it can happen because he is a chain smoker and would drink more than two bottles of beer a day.
The mild heart attack caused him to have difficulty in moving his left extremities. I know it would be very difficult for him to accept that. To think that he does almost all the household chores in their house. Have I mentioned that he is a great cook? Whenever we have the chance to visit them, he would always prepare delicious meals for us. My second child practically grew up with him.
I pray that we surpass this trial as a family. May this also serve amongst the family members that we should not take our health for granted. If we do not take care of our health, nobody else will do it for us.
I am looking forward to seeing him well and good. In God's time nothing is impossible. I claim his recovery. I know God will bring back his health in no time.

Children and Divorce

Now that the issue of divorce is being once again pushed by  our legislators; we ask the question again, in a country like ours, do we really need to have the Divorce Law? Ours is a catholic nation, and amongst the nations worldwide, Philippines is one of the two countries which do not have a divorce law.

To the moralists, it is safe for them to say that we don't need such law because it corrupts the essence of having a strong family ties. But to a woman who suffers abuses from her husband is totally a different story. Most especially if children are involved in the abuses.

A divorce can be traumatic to the ex-couple, but it can be even harder for the children. Tons of reasons can be attributed to come up with a decision to part ways for the couples. When a couple decides to have a divorce, what they truly consider is their own self.  Secondary consideration will be their children. Children and divorce are two things that is very hard to resolve.

 But several studies and researches showed that there is a big impact on the lives of the children if their parents decide to get a divorce. Children have this feeling that they have to choose between the two parents. They would never want to do that for the fear of hurting the other parent that they did not choose. Children and divorce is not easily for the couple who decided to have one.


Parents should keep in mind that it is only their ex-partner that they had a divorce and not their children. So it means that the relationship between parents and children should not be strained by this decision. They should keep in mind that their children are going through a different phase as they are right now. Children will feel a little relieved if they know that their parents will still be parents to them despite the decision to part ways. There is nothing more stressful for a child but to choose who among his parents he would love more. Obligations as parents should not be forgotten.


Children and divorce should be dealt individually. There are millions of kids affected by divorce. As parents struggle to pick up the pieces of the broken relationship they had with their ex-partner. Not all divorced parents end up as friends. So once the parents decide to divorce, its hard for them to become parent in the first part of the process of their own healing.


There are certain institutions that will help children to cope up with the divorce of their parents. Changes in children’s behavior may manifest. If they are older kids, they might neglect their studies. Some would turn to their friends for comfort. It is a blessing if children have good friends. They may act as their social support amidst the trial that the children are going through. However, if the set of friends that they have are on the other side of the fence. Children are easier to influence to do or imitate bad habits.


It is also important for the parents to explain to the kids the reason behind the divorce. They may skip other sensitive details, what is important is you give them justifications for the decision that you came up. Parents should not leave their children from speculating the reasons behind the decision. Because some would think that they are part of the reason why their parents decided to divorce. An assurance that you are still committed parents to your children will somehow ease the stress that they are undergoing as well.