Monday, April 4, 2011
On Saving Marriage Retreats
We are not the ideal couple too, but I can proudly say that we have proven a lot of things to not-so-nice people. There is no need for us to go on saving marriage retreats or counseling. Although I do not see anything wrong with that. In keeping the love and harmony in our married life, we try to compromise on a lot of things.
As much as we want to avoid arguments, there are moments that we cannot do so. But we have learned to manage our emotions and deal with the problem. It's hard to stay calm when there are issues to settle, but that should be the way to handle it.
Here are some useful tips on how to solve marital issues: There should be a positive reason on why you want to solve the problem. It must be specific, for example you have problems with your finances; give a positive reason on why you want this specific problem to be solved.
Tell your partner that you want to save up money for emergency situations that is why you need to check on how you both handle your finances. Avoid pointing fingers, bickering with each others faults would never result into something positive. Gently direct issues on why a certain problem would arise but never blame the other person for the problem.
Remember it takes two to tango. Present possible solutions that are agreeable to both of you. Never present a solution that could only be beneficial to one person. It would not solve the problem but can further create trouble as well. Deal with the current issue, steer clear from going back to other problems that you have.
If one person would tend to veer away from what is being resolved, gently remind the other person that it is not the current issue that you are trying to resolve. Once you have agreed upon a possible solution, stick to it. Then take the marital problem as case closed, don't bring it up again if in case another marital issue will arise. Learn to listen and compromise. From what I have read before it says that "it is okay to bend a little rather than to break".
Everyday we discover new things about our partner. Some of these discoveries may not be pleasant, we may learn a lot of flaws about their character. Learn how to accept and deal with the little flaws in our spouses character (unless of course, you get abused physically or emotionally-that is a different story). Remember the love that you have for your partner whenever conflict arise.
Resolve issues and do everything to save the marriage. If saving marriage retreats can help you rekindle the old flame, then do so. Try to do the best that you can if you think and feel that your marriage is worth saving.